First Snow.

Today we slept in- until 9:30. I woke up feeling rested for a change.  Its November now, Liberty's birth month.  I can hardly remember what we did yesterday, but I recall the day she was born like it actually was yesterday. This has been the fastest year of my life.  In seventeen short days she will turn one before my very eyes!! How do I even find words to sum up all the feelings that go along with that realization? ....I'm still searching for them... 

To say I have learned so much in this past year would be a grave understatement, I am a completely new person! I mean, yes I'm a mama bear now, but deeper. I am a renewed being. 

The the moment I found out I was pregnant with our first baby I knew I would never be the same. this was the BIGGEST change. Pregnancy was easy for me, with no complications. Then labor, contractions.... that last push. it was everything I had left after pushing for an hour and half already. I was not going to give up, not on this. I surrendered it all and I DID IT! 

I'm still me. the me I've always been deep down to my core. but it has blossomed! I feel more me than ever before. There is always work to be done, always room for improvement, but I am finally happy with the direction I am traveling.   I see things different and more clearly. I feel things differently too. 

take today for example. 

IT SNOWED. yesterday, all the windows in the house were open. The breeze was perfect, it smelt like fall. We wore shorts & t-shirts until the sun went down then we pulled out the sweaters and lit a bonfire. Today it was below 40 when we woke up and then, the rain turned to snow before our very eyes. Huge, fluffy, friendly looking flakes. they buzzed around everywhere, almost in a panic like they knew once they hit the ground they would be goners, melted instantly because the ground was still so warm. still clinging to bits of summer I'm sure of it. A few of the weiser ones landed in our hair and eyelashes or found a flower petal and got a few moments of rest before vanishing.

Know this about me, I was not made for winter. I do not like it, not one bit. I can jump into the spirit of the season and all the things that go along with winter... but the unforgiving, bone clenching cold.. no. just no. I have done my time in the northern parts and if I never see another New England winter again, thats just fine by me. I really, really don't like snow. 2 years ago I would have shaken my fists and said to this snow "i hate you snow in november" but today there was something comforting about it, I smiled and enjoyed it. It was refreshing, this first snow on the first of november. It was the earliest snowfall ever recorded for south carolina. 

So we just kept our pajamas and socks on all day. We napped a bit, watched Dead Poets Society, drank hot beverages, ate cheerios & leftover monster-mash (split pea soup  (always better the next day)) until the day was done. 

So much is different now. So many things will change. This is life on earth and I am becoming okay with that.