- We all had something right? I had my Bubby Blanket, my husband his Silkies, my brother had his Pongo Puppy.. some kids cling to a paci for years or suck their thumbs.
I wondered if shed drag her fuzzy pink blanket behind her everywhere she goes or would it be the yellow one? Would she chew on the corners of it until it fell apart like I did? Maybe she would take to one of the many stuffed giraffes she has acquired over the year- forever hugging its neck so that the stuffing shifts & it flops over.
She used a pacifier for a few short months, but quickly caught on to our intentions of hushing her I'm sure of it. She's one smart cookie! Its a good thing too, was prepared to tell her the boogie man was going to camp out under her bed until she gave them up!
The other day I realize that I was her thing.She is attached to me, I am attached to her. After all, she was inside me for the first 9 months of her life. She is my thing. I couldn't have been happier with that realization. I waited my entire life for motherhood. If you had asked me at any age growing up what I wanted to be and I would have told you "a mommy". I want to be more connected with this, I need to hold fast to it on the tough days because here I am doing exactly what I wanted to do- loving and being loved by my child. God is good.
Sunday I was at a good friends baby shower (unable to take Liberty because she has been under the weather since her birthday party.. I left her with nana & had to sneak away.. anyways) I didn't know anyone other than my friend & her mother and thats okay, but I felt out of my comfort zone. I wanted something familiar. I remember thinking "what am I doing here without my baby? she's my buddy! we do everything together!" I missed her. I can't enjoy my time away from her, I don't know how some mamas do it!
I didnt choose this lifestyle, it chose me. It sure as hell ain't always easy, but it will always be worth it. I also know that it wont always be just the 2 of us, this time is special. I want to be extra present in our time together.I am all shes got right now and this is our time of bonding. I want her to know that she can always count on me.
We cosleep. We breastfeed. We babywear. I know it wont always be this way but for the time being I'm going to enjoy every sweet moment of it. She is my everything and for now I am her entire world. I will bask in it!!!!
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