I do not respond well to change. I never have. it overwhelms me. I am much like a tree, in that I just want to be planted in a beautiful place preferably by a stream surrounded by beautiful and simple things. I want to grow my leaves and deepen my roots. I want raise my branches in praise. I wish to watch the sun shine and the moon beam. I like consistency and appreciate organization.
so how -dare i say- funny, that my soul mate is a soldier. our entire life is change. we are constantly being replanted and if you know anything about the army, you know the only thing consistent is how inconsistent & unorganized it is.
Have you noticed a plants reaction after you've transplanted it from the pot it grew in, to the ground it will thrive in? It goes though a bit of a transition period, before it looks happy and healthy, it experiences a state of shock, the leaves wilt. You have to saturate it with water, prune some leaves.. speak some encouraging words. Give it time.
Life is change, army life is a whole new world of it.
Life changes like the seasons, army life... it changes like the seas.
Right now we are in a particularly kind, understanding and somewhat comforting season, but the seas are unsettling. An unbearable amount or change is right over the horizon. good and bad, exciting and terrifying. unfortunately my nerves can't tell the difference and my body is flooded with anxiety. My evenings are filled with sleepless thought. I've developed this lump in my throat that I cannot swallow. My tears are right there, just waiting for a trigger word. I dont even know how to explain it, I have so many thoughts wizzing around in my head I've been finding it difficult to speak. How does my mind even connect all these thoughts?! My leaves are wilted.
It is far too easy for me to become consumed with fear and worry at the thought of the unknown- these storm in the distance. In all this change and uncertainty, I remind myself that each season is made up of days and the seas have their winds - some more powerful than others. Each day is brand new & the winds unpredictable. It makes it all a bit more manageable - one day at a time. I will enjoy each breeze as it blows by because its only here for this moment. I will ready myself for storms as they brew with the comforting thought that they too will pass, just like all the others. Each one teaching me something new. I will choose to pray and not worry, I will trust in God and stay focused on the things important to me. I only want to strengthen my roots, wherever they may be. I know theres a patch of soil on this earth thats just for me and my little family.
God will plant me when and where He sees fit.
Trust. Pray. Wait.
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